Dorothy Mae Kay (nee Wray), aged 82, passed away at the Red Lake Margaret Cochenour Memorial Hospital on April 29, 2016 with family by her side. She is survived by her loving husband of 63 years, Kenneth Kay, five children: Maurice (Carolyn); Carolle (Tim) Eady; Peter (Karen); Fred; and Jim (Linda); ten grandchildren: Jamie, Lindsay, Jeremiah, Jasper, Gavin, Britney, Raymond, Megan, Nicola, & Olivia, four great-grandchildren: Jaden, Ashlyn, Ethan, & Peyton; and her sister, Sylvia Sawyer.
Dorothy was born Dec. 31, 1933 at the home of her parents, Fred & Mildred Wray, in Milford Bay, Ontario. She had two older sisters–Daphne & Sylvia (Dorothy’s twin brother, Roland, and oldest sister, Isabel, died in childhood.) Dorothy studied piano, played by ear, & won harmony competitions with her sisters at the local fairs. Favourite summer pastimes were picking berries on the Huckleberry Rocks and swimming in the warm waters of Muskoka—often a mile-long swim, just for fun. Dorothy graduated from Bracebridge High School and worked for a year at Eaton’s in Toronto.
At a community square dance in 1950, Kenneth Kay asked Dorothy to dance and the rest is history. She had found the man of her dreams! They were married May 23, 1953. Renting out the house they owned in Milford Bay, Dorothy followed Ken wherever his construction work took him, living in trailers of various sizes in many different locations in southern Ontario. She made the most of life wherever she was and looked for the good in everything that happened and in everyone she met. Her family was her life.
In 1963, Mom and Dad moved their four children to Atikokan where Dad worked building part of the road that would connect Atikokan to Fort Frances. Two years later, they moved to Vermilion Bay and rented the house next to Brown & Nolan’s Hardware while Dad worked on upgrading the south half of Hwy. 105. In 1966, The Griffith Mine opened north of Ear Falls; Dad was one of the first ten men hired. Mom was finally going to put down roots. That summer, they lived in an 8’ x 12’ tent while Dad built the house. The neighbours, Earl & Carrie Jackson, let Mom use their garage as a kitchen where she cooked meals on a Coleman stove. This camping adventure took a serious turn when the youngest child, Fred, developed a life-threatening illness. Mom spent over 2 weeks in Winnipeg while Fred clung to life in the Health Sciences Centre. The other three children stayed with the Jackson’s when Dad worked shift. Mom’s faith got her through this difficult time and the family was soon reunited.
Mom once said that it took her about four years before she realized she was actually settling in Ear Falls. In 1968, Jim was born. Mom barely missed a beat—her 3 oldest children were built-in babysitters. She designed a very unique kitchen and Dad built it. Woe be to anyone who left belongings on her beloved curved countertop. An excellent cook and baker, lunchboxes always had one piece of homemade cake in them—Tomato Soup Cake or Banana Cake with lemon icing were family favourites.
Always encouraging her children to follow their interests, Mom supported their participation in extra-curricular activities. When the kids were school age, she supervised the nightly chores while Dad watched the news. Usually, she had control over the kitchen. Once in a while, though, when things got out of hand, Mom would use her magic word—“Kenneth!”—and whatever argument the kids were having magically ended and the combatants were nowhere to be found.
The house was filled with music. Almost every night, Mom played accordion while Dad chorded on guitar. When Maurice was home, he did the picking. As Fred grew up, he sang & played Mom’s newly-acquired piano. Country and gospel music were favourites, but Mom could play just about anything. Mom loved to dance—square dances, schottisches, polkas, and waltzes were effortless as long as she was with Dad.
An excellent seamstress, Mom produced whatever was needed: party dresses, winter jackets, children’s clothes, skating costumes, doll clothes, curtains, upholstery, and even skidoo seats—she took satisfaction in doing things well. Her fascination with nature was evident in collections of stones, driftwood, sea shells, and pine cones. Mom was a gifted poet, a singer, and, later in life, an artist.
Having adventures with Dad was important. She was always ready to fish, camp, or fly with Dad in his Aeronca Champ. She thoroughly enjoyed the time they spent at their cabin. Mom was a good sport: bravely ice fishing at -30 C, cutting & wrapping moose and deer meat, canning pears, baking bread, and pickling beets. The few complaints that Mom voiced always ended with how lucky she was to have a man like Ken. She treasured all their moments together.
Mom raised her family according to the Christian values that she was raised with. Never concerning herself with material wealth, love and understanding were paramount. Patient, kind, and a very good listener, she had a keen insight into human nature. Over the years, people of all ages would drop in for coffee, but mostly to chat with Mom. It’s amazing how many people have been touched by her caring.
Mom loved her children dearly and gained much satisfaction from time spent with their families. Over the last three years, Parkinson’s greatly reduced Mom’s quality of life. Dad’s care and attention allowed her to remain at home for most of that time. She fought through the confusion and discomfort and continued to be a light to those around her. On April 29, 2016, Mom was released from her suffering and God took her home. Mom will be remembered by all who knew her for the amazing woman that she was.
On May 5, 2016, Mom was laid to rest in the Ear Falls Cemetery after a service at the Royal Canadian Legion Hall. Jonathon Elgby officiated. Donations to the charity of one’s choice can be made through Harold’s Funeral Home in Red Lake.
